procrastination

I had put off finishing the documentation for some of the IO's I did in January. I'm too tired after work, and I keep promising myself I'll do it on the weekend, but then I don't. It's hard to find time for something when doing laundry is a more fun option.

Yesterday someone e-mailed me needing the documentation for one of the IO's as they were finishing the audit this week. Umm yeah, I'll get that to you tonight. Perfect, because Wednesdays are the night we get to leave this client early. But as the day wrapped up I had too much to do to feel like I could leave early. So I worked until 7:30pm, then volunteered to drop something off in the office for the partner to review.

Then I went home to eat dinner and my finish my IO documentation. I took a half hour break to chat with my bro, which was nice. I finished working about 11pm and headed back to the office to drop stuff in the girl's mailbox. Of course the parking situation at my complex was a mess when I rolled back in after midnight and I had a little hike back to my apartment after finally finding a spot.

I fell into bed about 12:30am, so I could get back up at 6:30am and start it all over again. Why do I do this to myself?

inspirational starbucks cup

You know how there's a quote on every Starbucks cup?  I always read them and think, "Oh that's nice," then move on with my life.  Well, a couple weeks ago I was at Starbucks with some friends and I really really liked the quote on my cup.  I made my friend chatting with me read it, and he noticed that I kept re-reading it during our convo.  He teased me about wanting to take the cup home and I laughed, but the thing is I really did want to.  I tossed the cup in the garbage (amazingly, there actually are some limits on how weird I am willing to be in front of people) but was sad I didn't have the quote.  

The next week at work the manager had me run to get Starbucks for everyone and I got the same quote on my cup.  I was not going to be ashamed of being inspired by a disposable cup this time.  I typed the quote and e-mailed it to myself.  So here it is:

"The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating-- in work, in play, in love.  The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation.  To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life."  (Anne Morris, Starbucks customer)

I love this quote.  It reminds me of an analogy I heard so often as a child in church lessons about how rules are like a kite string.  With the boundaries of the string the kite can keep flying, but if you were to cut the string and give the kite more freedom it would fall to the ground.  Once you've committed to something, you can focus on fulfilling that commitment rather than continuing to debate in your head if you should do it or not.  Your energy can be turned to action.

I see this in work.  It no longer matters if accounting was the right major for me.  I made my choice and focused on getting that masters degree.  That choice gave me the freedom to have a career in accounting.  Which of course lead to more decision making, but now I've chosen a job and spend my time getting the best experience I can here.  I don't spend time thinking if I'd be happier at a different firm or in another field altogether, I choose to enjoy where I am.

I see this in play.  I chose to live in Portland.  Now I focus on the wonderful things this city had to offer.  I enjoy the temperate weather and foggy mornings.  I enjoy my sunroof open with the heater on, thanks Di.  I don't spend time wondering if more sunshine is what I need.  Portland has everything I need.  Even small decisions are better once committed to.  I hate the day-long debates via e-mail about where we should go to dinner this coming Friday.  Once we've committed as a group (or some merciful individual has made the decision for the rest of us) to certain plans, we can start building on those plans.  And then the weekend fun can really begin.

I see this in love.  Although the early stages of dating have their merits with the flirting and getting to know many interesting people (I have to continually remind myself to enjoy this part), there is a certain freedom in committing to one person.  Freedom to love that person, to be yourself, and to work towards something with deeper meaning.  Too often, I think, we get caught up in worrying about whether someone better will come along and it prevents us from dating any one person.  We think we have to know from the first date if we could spend the rest of our lives with someone.  But you couldn't possibly know that from a first date.

I love the idea of removing your head as the barrier to your life.  Maybe because I'm so inclined towards irrationality.  :)  But really, at some point you have to quit thinking and just do.  Close your eyes, take a breath, and jump.  The fall is always more liberating than scary.

i think i can parallel park

OK so this morning I had to stop by the office to turn in my time & expense report and check the mail for confirms.  There's parallel parking on the street in front of the building and I saw one open so I pulled in.  Just pulled right in.

I've had to parallel park several times in recent months because I spend so much time downtown.  Before then, I had tried (pretty unsuccessfully) only a few times since learning how in drivers' ed.  I'm just an all-around bad driver.

But with all of my recent practice I have to ask myself the question: "Can I parallel park?"  I think I can (I just hope I don't jinks myself by writing this).  Imagine what other impossible things I could learn how to do.  So many things have opened up for my future. 

stupid stupid people

So the other night I was having a chat with friends, and someone brought up knowing a person who spoke Cling-on (sp?).  Like from Star trek.  Apparently it's a whole language you can learn.  We were all in agreement about how absurd that is, but Nic felt especially heated about the subject.  This is what he had to say (the best I can do from memory):

"What a waste of time.  You could have used that time to learn a real language.  Even if you already know a second language like Spanish, you could learn a third language.  Like Greek, then you could travel to Greece.  You could have gone to Greece.  But no.  You chose to go to space."

Yes.  Thank you.

Then tonight, as I was leaving the parking garage after work, the girl working the booth accidentally rang me up at 99 cents instead of $9.95 (don't I wish).  So she charged me the full amount, then gave me change for the 99 cents.  After quite awhile trying to count change, she handed me a quarter and four nickels.  "Umm, this is only forty-five cents."  So after some more confusion, I end up helping her count out 99 cents.  Good practice for being a mom when my children are learning to count perhaps?  In the end I got three quarters and five nickels.  She seemed very resistant to handing over some dimes.  I informed her she could give me four pennies instead of the last nickel, but she was fine with me having the extra penny.  Unreal.

now i have a real kitchen

Hello beautiful.  Thank you mom and dad for a fabulous Christmas present.  This beautiful spring green Kitchenaid will adorn my kitchen counter for years to come.  I was tempted by the breast cancer pink ones out right now, but I've been in love with the green for so long it just had to be the one.

I thought for awhile about what I should make the very first time I used my new appliance.  There are so many delicious options, especially when you haven't had much time to bake in recent weeks.  I decided to go with a classic: chocolate chip cookies.
Thank heavens for break the fast.  Because heaven knows I could have (and would have) eaten this entire plate of cookies by myself.  Delicious.

old friends in a new city

These pics are a bit overdue.  I don't have any photos of my holiday time in Utah with my fam because I never really got to pack for my Christmas vacation.  But I got a couple photos of my holiday time in Portland.

Amy's sister lives in Salem (just south of Portland) so I got to go down and visit her one night.  It was great to see Amy and I'm really going to miss watching her softball games this summer.  Also, her daughter, Emi, was only two months old the last time I saw her.  Now she's six months and getting so big.  I just love them.

During the holidays Lindsay was home visiting her family and we got a chance to catch up.  Lindsay's Aunt Gillie (sp?) and her partner recently bought a super cute coffee shop called Sip & Kranz in the pearl district.  So darling.  We went to check it out, catch up, gossip, and make a scene  (because that is what Lindsay and I always do).  I just love her.