04 November 2009

yes, this is my real life

So last Friday at work, someone from the client told us there was a cake in the basement in the employee kitchen and we were welcome to have some. So I drag my coworkers down to get some cake and we see it's a birthday cake with three people's names on it, and no one has cut it yet. So we trudge back upstairs with no cake. I was so unhappy.

We later mention something to the same person at the client and he tells us it's totally OK to just cut it. I don't need anymore encouragement than that, so I drag one of my coworkers back downstairs with me. (Disclaimer: he is really not the kind of person you should be taking social cues from.) After all, it was like 3:30pm, and they were clearly not getting around to it.

This is a picture of us cutting the cake that does not have our names on it because it is not our birthday month and we do not work there.
We are back in the audit room, enjoying our cake, when we hear the ladies outside the room say, "Let's go down and do the birthdays now." Panic. Total panic. The entire office is now heading downstairs for a birthday celebration, and when they open the cake box they will see there are two pieces missing.

I tried to convince myself they wouldn't know it was me as I licked the blue frosting that used to be someone's name off my fork, but it was no use. They would know, they had to know. Then the VP walks by and says, "I was going to see if you wanted to come down and have some cake, but I see you've already got some." Someone please just kill me now and end this misery. No one else said anything to us after the fact, but I'm sure they were judging us.

So here are my questions for you, my friends:

1) Have you ever been that desperate for a piece of cake or treat of some kind?

2) When is the last time you behaved that badly?

7 comments:

Kelley said...

Absolutely hilarious! I can totally picture it in my head.

My roommate in college made this really good treat and the toppings on it were so good that I started to pick off the toppings when she was gone to ward prayer. For some reason they hadn't cut into it or anything yet. I thought it wasn't noticeable but after taking off quite a bit of the topping I realized there was no use. It was so obvious but I just pretended like nothing happened. I'm pretty sure she knew....

Who knew that sweets could cause this kind of embarrassment!

JonJon said...

That is horrible. I would be mortified. I think it's been a long while since I've done something like that. I'd like to make a guess as to who told you it was ok to have cake, but I'll save it for when we are in person. :)

Kirstin said...

When I was in Kindergarten one day at lunch the girl next to me wasn't eating the cookie that came with her school lunch. My cookie was long gone and I just kept watching hers sit on her plate. Finally I reached over, grabbed it, and ate it. Of course she got upset and told the teacher, who walked me back to the lunch line to explain the situation and ask for another cookie to give the girl. The teacher lent me 35 cents to buy the cookie, which I had to pay back the following day. It was embarassing. Also, remember that year we took piano lessons before school? The teacher had a basket of candy and let us have a piece for each day we had practiced the preceding week. I never practiced, but I always ate about 20 pieces of candy while I sat through your lesson. She had to have noticed how low her candy basket was each time we left, but fortunately she never said anything. I'm just glad I can now afford to buy my own treats.

emilymakin said...

I recently made muddy buddies as my Halloween treat for some friends at the law school. When I finished I realized that if I gave one to everyone on my list there would not be a bag for me. So I cut someone. I felt a little bad since she saw the big bag of them when I was walking into the school but I just couldn't make them and not have any for myself. And last year at Christmas I put candy on some friends desks but would often go and steal some of it back when they weren't there.

Kristine said...

That's so hilarious. So terrible. And I absolutely would have been there with you. I live for the second Tuesday of the month--staff cake day!

I'm not sure how it happened, but this week my kids started bribing me with candy. I just can't turn down their m&m's from Halloween! So then it's a little hard for me to enforce my "no eating in class" policy, when I'm eating sweets right in front of them, that they gave me! I'm the teacher; isn't bribery supposed to be my game?

Me said...

my entire life is a moment like that. sadly i usually justify it with "well, someone said i could". it doesnt matter if someone is a drunk hobo. they said you could, so its ok.

once i almost got arrested for breaking into a cemetary to pick blackberries in a "someone said i could" situation. in that case someone was an 8 year old who lived on my friends street.

Rachel F. said...

Oh man Court that sounds HORRIBLE!! I would be so embarrassed I would die.

I was once so desperate for a Take 5 that I stopped at a Home Depot to buy one (yeah, they have candy in case you didn't know). I only had a few quarters but the item was 99 cents so I figured I was safe. Until I checked out and the candy bar rang up at $1.06... Instead of giving up and leaving the candy bar that I should not have been eating anyway, I asked the employee who was "just a little bit special" if there was a penny jar around. He said no. And again, instead of leaving I decided it would be ok to ask this minimum wage "special" employee for a loan of 6 cents so I could enjoy a sugary infusion of empty calories. He dug around in his pockets, produced the change which he put into the register, handed me the receipt and I left while the lady behind me looked pretty (understandably) shocked. Once I ate the candy bar and came to my non-sugar-deprived senses I realized how ridiculous that whole incident was and felt horribly embarrassed.